A Guideline for setting intentions in all your relationship

 Often our intention is to have our partner make the changes that we desire to give us what we want.  The truth of the matter is that you are the only one who can change your circumstance and that change will impact your partner!  Communication is a feedback loop, one change impacts all behaviors and reactions within that cycle.  When we focus on our partner, we give up our power to create exactly what we want in our relationship and our life.

Intention is “A determination to act in a certain way”, it’s the starting point of every dream.  Allow yourself to dream, to hope for that which you have been yearning for.  Perhaps these are the desires that you held when your first entered your relationship, perhaps they have grown out of the experiences you have shared with your partner.  When you set an intention, you’re planting the seed from which your desires can grow.  By knowing what you desire you can pay full attention and nurture the growth and health of your relationship. 

 Here are some guidelines for setting intentions:

·     Ask yourself what you truly long for in your relationship

·     Get clear about your own intentions for the relationship (for example: How you want to act in the relationship)

·     Why do you want the things that you desire?  Notice the motives for your desires.

·     What is the experience you really want to have?

·     How do you want to feel daily?

·     What behaviors are you willing to act on to create the type of relationship you are dreaming of?

·     Are there changes that you are willing to make to attain your desires?

·     What are your short term and long-term intentions?

·     Are your intentions measurable, are they attainable?

·     Detach from the outcome. You can’t control your partner’s behavior; you can only control your own behavior and attitudes in your relationship.

Just as you need a roadmap to be truly efficient on a trip, you need to create a set of guidelines and intentions for where you want your relationship to go.  This includes the behaviors and attitudes that you are willing to make and letting your loved one know what your expectations are for their part of the relationship.  You can learn to communication clearly and effectively.  You can listen and be curious about what your partner has to say and thoughtfully respond.  Intentions and communication create a meaningful relationship that can thrive over the years.