Deepen Trust and Build a Stronger Relationship

Trust means that you have placed your confidence and faith in your partner, that you expect honesty, integrity, loyalty, and respect to be at the center of your relationship. Trust is the bedrock of a healthy relationship.  You expect your partner to keep promises and confidences, and to stay with you when the going gets tough. Lack of trust is one of the most common themes to surface in relationships.  When you show your partner that they can count on you to support them and show concern for their welfare you are strengthening the bond between you. The key question in a relationship is “Can I count on you when I am hurt or frightened.”  Our sense of safety is strengthened when the answer to this question is yes.  We don’t need to agree with the hurt or fear, but we do need to support our partner and take what they say seriously. 

Trust is something to be earned; you should not give it to another lightly. When you first meet a new person, you are learning whether they are “worthy” of your trust and your heart. We bring our past experiences, hurts, fears, and expectations into every new relationship. If something happens and your trust is broken, your old wounds and traumas spill over into your current relationship.  If we don’t feel safe our response to things that are said and done can somethings cause an upheaval in the relationship.  While safety and trust are based on the dynamic between you and your partner it is also a function of your own point of view and perspective.  When you bring your fears etc. into your relationship you should expect your partner to be open to discussing what has happened and to work with you to understand why this is important to you. 

All the vulnerabilities that are shared need to stay within the confines of your relationship. When others are told about the things that either of you shared with  your partner you have broken a sacred bond.  Aim for balance between how much you each share, trust is not built if only one person shares vulnerabilities. Practice forgiveness when you are upset with your partner and let go of a hurt after the two of you have talked it through. Learn to apologize when you make a mistake or disappoint your partner. An authentic apology should be sincere and from the heart. Take responsibility for your actions and be curious with your partner about how your action impacted them.  Reassure them that your love is still intact. This will further strengthen the foundation of trust between the two of you.

 Trust takes a long time to build and can unfortunately be broken in an instant. Whether you are building trust in a new relationship or trying to rebuild it in an established one the steps are much the same.  Patience, communication and understanding help you and your partner to create a strong foundation from which you can build a meaningful connection.  There is hope in relationship and building trust will help you to strengthen what you have or what you are creating for many years to come.