Gratitude in an Upside-Down World

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”  William Arthur Ward

To many people our country and the larger world is feeling upside-down, unlike anything that they have experienced in their lifetimes.  Clients have expressed confusion and hopelessness in the face of what they see.  But all is not lost.  There is something that we can do every day to help us feel better.

Studies have shown that expressing gratitude toward ourselves and those around us helps builds trust, satisfaction, and connection in all our relationships.  When we express gratitude, we set off a series of emotions (i.e. generosity, love, warmth, happiness, and trust) in all the people that we encounter.  These emotions are stronger when we sense that our actions are reflecting caring about our needs and preferences. 

We all have the need to feel appreciated, valued and connected.  Expressing gratitude helps us to get our needs met. When we begin to express gratitude it helps us, in turn, to become more aware of all the things that are done for us.  We tend to be oblivious to the things that others may do to show their love.  So often people will complain that people in their lives don’t do things for them, only to discover that they have been unaware of the actions and expressions of caring that have been there all along.

I find that one of the hardest things for people to do when they are overwhelmed by the conflict around them or in the news is to show gratitude.  When we develop a mindset of giving and receiving gratitude, we develop a network of caring that spreads far and wide.  To many people, giving thanks for something that is done for them creates vulnerability and a feeling of indebtedness.  Quite the opposite is true.  There is a wonderful reciprocity to gratitude; it tends to create a desire in others to express gratitude to us.  We develop a new cycle—one of warmth and partnership and in this time isn’t that just what we need!

 Here are 5 things that you can do to grow gratitude in your relationships:

·      Thank someone for the small things that you would normally take for granted

·      Show gratitude at least one time during the day

·      Notice when others do nice things for you.  Express your gratitude

·      Surprise someone in your life with one small gesture of caring each day

·      Create a ritual of reviewing 3 things you are grateful for before bed at the end of the day. 

Being grateful helps us to view our relationships in a more positive light and tends to soften the bumps that are inevitable as we live our lives together.  It helps us to create the kind of life that we want to live as a healthy, connected people.