A Family Holiday Survival Guide

Holidays are often a natural recipe for stress: Take the family member who aggravates you the most, add too many parties that you feel obligated to attend, tack on an uncalled for remark, stir in a wailing child, be sure to include a relative who’s imbibed a bit too much, and baste with a heap of judgment about your food, decorations, or gift choices.  

You’ve now got a set up for an experience that won’t resemble Martha Stewart’s Christmas!

Still, despite your family’s dynamics, it is possible to have a wonderful holiday. By following these 6 important tips you can begin to create an atmosphere that encourages good feelings:

·      Adjust your attitude. you approach the holidays, muster up an attitude of openness and warmth, rather than falling victim to the “dread trap” that may have become all too familiar to you over the years. 

·      Keep your expectations realistic. You have total control over how you react to what happens around you. How you manage your expectations will make the difference between disappointment and having a tolerable – or even pleasant – holiday experience.

·      Take care of unfinished business. Discuss hurt feelings or frustrations with the appropriate family member before you need to spend time together. You don’t have to solve the problem, but by acknowledging the issue, you can often soothe things enough to calm the tensions before you gather.

·      Minimize conflict with kindness. To diffuse a situation before it escalates try responding to a dig or confrontation with grace.  Laughter can also be a powerful tool to help shift an uncomfortable exchange.  

·      Don’t allow someone else’s behavior to ruin your event. Address your feelings about offensive comments or behavior with the offender, either in person or in writing, after you have had a chance to understand your own feelings.  Remember their poor behavior reflects on them not you.

·      See the good in people. Most people are trying to do good – even if they sometimes say or do thoughtless things.  In the spirit of the holidays, step out of your own gripes and complaints and perform an act of kindness for someone who would otherwise drive you crazy.

 Wishing you all the best for the happiest of holidays and a wonderful new year!